Forget Simon Cowell, forget even Statler and Waldorf from
the Muppet Show; when it comes to difficult-to-please audiences children are -by
far- the “crème de la crème”. And they will do anything to prove that last
statement: they will throw their toys back at you, they will cry, they will get
cranky, they might pick a corner and stand there like a stork for hours. But
they will definitely not want to spend their time with an “old” man that bores
them. So, if you think that spending a few hours with a toddler is going to rejuvenate
you… think again. You are not always facing elimination after this challenge,
though. All you have to do is get prepared and creative.
1. Take him on a
journey to imaginary worlds
Donald Winnicott was the first psychoanalyst
to study thoroughly children’s bond with toys and playing; he argued that when
a child is playing (be it with a toy car or just a carton) this imaginary world
that he creates absorbs him completely to the point of acting as if it was
real! No wonder then why children love to play: these way they are able to
process their emotions, deal with emotional issues that cause them anxiety (like
an abusive parent or a parents’ divorce) and understand the real world around them. So, the first -and most important- advice is “play with him”. Build amazing
scenarios together; use carton boxes, egg holders or even plain paper sheets to
construct “Lalaland” or to fly in your “Amaziplane”! Most important of all: act
as if an Oscar depended on your performance.
2. Introduce
yourself to the population of Toyland
His toys are his best friends; he wants to
play with them all the time, he cares for them, he introduces them to everyone
in the room. So… stick around for the introductions, state that you are honoured
that you met Spiderman in person and ask if you can join them. He’ll always be
willing to pass you to the “bad guys” and confront you in his room arena.
3. Read
an exciting story (or make it one)
We all love stories; that’s why we go to the movies or read
a novel or… gossip. The little ones adore hearing all there is about Cinderella
or Peter Pan or any fictional character; diving into mythical or imaginary
worlds never gets old. Read a book together; if he already knows the story act
surprised and ask him to tell you e-ve-ry-thing he knows. If you have brought
your own books give him a brief summary and let him choose which story he prefers to hear. If there are no books around tell him a story that you know by heart or
make up one on the spot. Or why not visit the local library together? Adding a
bit of outdoors adventure will definitely give you some points in the “Likable
Adult” scale.
4. Give him some
space
As much as you think that you need time to yourself… so does
he! Everyone needs his own space and time, even children. Be careful, though;
that doesn’t mean that you can lead your own, separate lives! Give him a task, e.g.
to assemble that racing track in order to hold a race later on between you two,
and tell him what time you will be back to check how he’s getting on. This way
he will feel safe and also perceive his time alone as valuable. Do not just
leave him unsupervised in a room. Instead put him in a room with a safety gate
to make sure that he’s safe at all times. Check on him every five minutes or,
even better, sit somewhere where you can maintain visual contact at all times.
When you rejoin him ask him to explain how he managed to build this masterpiece
or how he spent his time alone.
5. Embrace the chefs
in you
Words like “pesto”, “a la crème” or “marinade” might be all
Greek to you. On special occasions though (and spending time with a toddler is a special occasion) you should
explore this terra nova together. Children absolutely love to get creative and,
yes, dirty! Browse in a recipe book or online for a simple but fun-to-make
children’s dish. Appoint him chef and yourself sous-chef; you do all the
cutting and peeling, he does the difficult stuff: whatever includes getting his
hands in flour, dough or dish decoration! Talk about the food; does he know
which food is healthy and which is not, which dishes have the “yummy” factor
and which ones the “sound the alarm” factor for him etc. Enjoy your meal
together and complement each other on the result. (Oh, and make noises to show
how much you like your meal.)
6. Order an original
painting
Crayons, pencils and markers are always magical tools in the
eyes of the little ones. Give them an empty sheet and a pencil and they can
fill it in seconds. Ask him to draw a picture just for you. Don’t tell him what
to draw, leave it all to his imagination. You can also sit together, cut
pictures from magazines and newspapers and make a collage together! To add a
touch of creative perfection ask him to sign it at the bottom… like all great
painters do.
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